I thought I have moved on...It was all so superfical, But I'm still there too lame and weak.
I feel too crippled and trampled to walk ahead.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
After almost 14 years finally my school life has ended. And it has made me a woman enough to face the real world(ironical for I feel I'm still not ready for it) This august 2008 I began my college not very happy since I had different plans for myself but I was ready to move on(how superfical).
Since then its been 8 months and life life has been a accepted struggle...More than college I spent time in auto just going to college and coming back. Its just me and that small dingy auto and the driver and everyday I have to share it with others who hire the auto just like me (bliss of being born in a middle class family) My life is about how unwillingly I have to date that auto driver and ladies and not so gentlemen rugged guys. Dust and pollution accompany me wherever I go and like a mum spectator I sit in one corner and see the world around me moving...That 25 minutes of journey everyday is the most integral part of my life.
I see a lot and hear alot I observe how people work to make a living rikshaw pullers, buses a total hustle bustle. The whole picture was unbearable when I saw a young women poverty stricken ill clad was feeding a mal nourished children on the road side. It hurts me to see the plight of children who are supposedly said to be as the future of India. At every forway people get off and get on the auto from dismayed labourers to young men with CV's in hand and dreams in eyes sit beside me only to find a job in this recession stricken nation. The most striking feature is that how willing we are ready to share our space with a stranger. All sit quite, not bothered about each other the destination is the sole aim.
I see slew of cars and bikes past by my auto(its not the possession of auto I'm talking about) and how a newly wed couple on the same auto looks at it the eyes show the inpisration and aspiration to have it. I see a dream in their eyes a desire to possess a better future which (thanks to globalization and our consumeristic nature) comes from all the materialistic stuff in the world.
My collegues or fellowmen( the people who share auto with me) come in various moods I see joy, love , hatred, rejection, acceptance, dejection. All of it the ride is a whirlpool of emotions. Its all about pace and how our lives are connected to them.
"AND YOU PEOPLE TALK ABOUT LIFE IN A METRO"
Since then its been 8 months and life life has been a accepted struggle...More than college I spent time in auto just going to college and coming back. Its just me and that small dingy auto and the driver and everyday I have to share it with others who hire the auto just like me (bliss of being born in a middle class family) My life is about how unwillingly I have to date that auto driver and ladies and not so gentlemen rugged guys. Dust and pollution accompany me wherever I go and like a mum spectator I sit in one corner and see the world around me moving...That 25 minutes of journey everyday is the most integral part of my life.
I see a lot and hear alot I observe how people work to make a living rikshaw pullers, buses a total hustle bustle. The whole picture was unbearable when I saw a young women poverty stricken ill clad was feeding a mal nourished children on the road side. It hurts me to see the plight of children who are supposedly said to be as the future of India. At every forway people get off and get on the auto from dismayed labourers to young men with CV's in hand and dreams in eyes sit beside me only to find a job in this recession stricken nation. The most striking feature is that how willing we are ready to share our space with a stranger. All sit quite, not bothered about each other the destination is the sole aim.
I see slew of cars and bikes past by my auto(its not the possession of auto I'm talking about) and how a newly wed couple on the same auto looks at it the eyes show the inpisration and aspiration to have it. I see a dream in their eyes a desire to possess a better future which (thanks to globalization and our consumeristic nature) comes from all the materialistic stuff in the world.
My collegues or fellowmen( the people who share auto with me) come in various moods I see joy, love , hatred, rejection, acceptance, dejection. All of it the ride is a whirlpool of emotions. Its all about pace and how our lives are connected to them.
"AND YOU PEOPLE TALK ABOUT LIFE IN A METRO"
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A Road to Nowhere
The journey called life has just begin, it was today that I am finally ready to embark upon this not so beautiful journey. My bubble of whims and fancies had been pricked and and is gone leaving to nude to the ruthless and cold world. The adventures of life had begun.
I like an amateur juggler try to catch every move that ball of treachery and fakeness make, but in vain the perils of it are too new for me. My first glimpse of this world is a hallway followed by a two way staircase... I see the two ends one going to Saint Peter's in heaven and the other is Satan's territory in hell.
The hallway is most aesthetically interiored and beautiful aroma wafts in the air. I see people most beautiful and suave. The ambiance is so pure a soft smile has suffused my face and I like a robin has a swollen bossom stand in the middle of the hall.
The people welcomed me with open arms made me feel desirous and wanted. As my gumption of friendship is too pure and is a means of livelihood, I felt so contended and satisfied. What more can I ask for? There was harmony and peace, rapport that none had seen camaraderie that none had ever felt.
I met people good and great. With great knowledge, enlightened and illuminated.
I was a dream come true...We worked all day and night, shared philosophies and various school of thought. I was so elated to find a world outside my world, a home within a home. I was not nude anymore people wrapped themselves around me but I still wasn't ripe. I was waiting for my own skin. I was so engrossed learning and witnessing new things that never made me think otherwise.
But as time was passing so were others and as we all know a change is constant and suddenly i felt a change... The hallway is no more beautifully interiored instead of flowers and garland it is covered with wreaths and weeds. The aroma is gone a dirty stench fills the place. The people are not amiable anymore, the calmness and tranquility void. The mirror of deception is shattered as they all unmask themselves only to make me see their sly eyes and cunning moves, there treacherous smile and their fake personality.
The moment I realized that I was in a wrong territory I felt a hard blow on my back excruciating pain made me numb and its too late to recover the harm is done and the bird is killed. My wings were clipped and trampled. I was a little awake only to see the broad and victorious smile on their face. The hallway no more exists its just a dense forest with dried trees and deadly and poisonous weeds and creepers. I see no being around me not even rats I'm totally stranded and lost! My wounds are too fresh the blood is still wet, my bones are injured and spine broken.
I stand there with none around me my old friends are unaware and the new are not bothered. Only thing that makes me move on is hope and that ray of light which tells me that all is going to be alright.........With a lump in my throat and with a heavy heart I end it as a bad memory which will fade soon.
I like an amateur juggler try to catch every move that ball of treachery and fakeness make, but in vain the perils of it are too new for me. My first glimpse of this world is a hallway followed by a two way staircase... I see the two ends one going to Saint Peter's in heaven and the other is Satan's territory in hell.
The hallway is most aesthetically interiored and beautiful aroma wafts in the air. I see people most beautiful and suave. The ambiance is so pure a soft smile has suffused my face and I like a robin has a swollen bossom stand in the middle of the hall.
The people welcomed me with open arms made me feel desirous and wanted. As my gumption of friendship is too pure and is a means of livelihood, I felt so contended and satisfied. What more can I ask for? There was harmony and peace, rapport that none had seen camaraderie that none had ever felt.
I met people good and great. With great knowledge, enlightened and illuminated.
I was a dream come true...We worked all day and night, shared philosophies and various school of thought. I was so elated to find a world outside my world, a home within a home. I was not nude anymore people wrapped themselves around me but I still wasn't ripe. I was waiting for my own skin. I was so engrossed learning and witnessing new things that never made me think otherwise.
But as time was passing so were others and as we all know a change is constant and suddenly i felt a change... The hallway is no more beautifully interiored instead of flowers and garland it is covered with wreaths and weeds. The aroma is gone a dirty stench fills the place. The people are not amiable anymore, the calmness and tranquility void. The mirror of deception is shattered as they all unmask themselves only to make me see their sly eyes and cunning moves, there treacherous smile and their fake personality.
The moment I realized that I was in a wrong territory I felt a hard blow on my back excruciating pain made me numb and its too late to recover the harm is done and the bird is killed. My wings were clipped and trampled. I was a little awake only to see the broad and victorious smile on their face. The hallway no more exists its just a dense forest with dried trees and deadly and poisonous weeds and creepers. I see no being around me not even rats I'm totally stranded and lost! My wounds are too fresh the blood is still wet, my bones are injured and spine broken.
I stand there with none around me my old friends are unaware and the new are not bothered. Only thing that makes me move on is hope and that ray of light which tells me that all is going to be alright.........With a lump in my throat and with a heavy heart I end it as a bad memory which will fade soon.
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